Three weeks left. I can't believe this trip is almost over. It flew. I honestly think I blinked too long and time fast-forwarded or something...it is playing tricks on me.
It seems to be an illusion these days. It's hard to describe my last 5 months. It's basically a dream to me. For those of you who have spent a significant time away from home, in a foreign place, you know what I am talking about. You know how difficult it is to grasp the changes you have gone through, to grasp the new things, languages, people, places and experiences you have met, seen and had. It's scary to think this chapter in my life will end. But like everything it will end and I'll have to move on. The things I have seen here and the friends I have grown to love will be mere images in my head- memories of a life past. It is comforting to know I can play them over and over in my head, but it is unsettling that talking about my experience will die young upon my return. Most people, save my loving mom and dad, will only be interested in SOME details. After awhile, they will tire of hearing all I have to say as I will grow weary of trying to explain all I have done. This is the single most difficult part of traveling.
Many people have told me over these months how "brave" I was to move here, how "proud" they are of me. I respect that and I am flattered, however, I can confidently say, moving to a foreign country alone doesn't compare to the fear of coming home to a life I used to live with the people who know me the best. It's a good scary though...it's a fear that I will lose the lessons I have learned here or that people won't understand how I am different.
This is more of an emo blog post, but it's important for me to write about the effects travel has on a person. It's such a strong sensation. I guess Miriam Beard said it the best when she mentioned that "Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on deep and permanent in the ideas of living.” I couldn't have put it better myself. There is something to understand about removing oneself from all things familiar- you lose a sense of reality, yet gain a whole new perspective of what REALLY matters to you. When you step into a new culture, everything is different- EVERYTHING. All at once you are taking in different and exciting sensations. Certain things stick, or become heightened to your senses-whether that be the food, language, people, culture, art, way of life, music etc.You have a selective understanding of where you are. Each person takes in significant "sensations" and notices them in a heightened form. The rest fades into the background, we aren't entirely conscious this is happening because we are so enthralled by our new stimuli.
It's hard to describe, but having no black berry, knowing FEW people, not understanding things due to the language and culture difference, causes me to become unaware of so much and MORE aware of other things. It makes traveling peaceful in a way. Similar to the way people who are deaf live. Without the noise of traffic or sirens, talking or construction...life is quiet and a little bit more serene(so some have said). When I stepped off that airplane back in February, I left behind my entire life. I left what I knew was cool(the styles, the people, the lingo, movies) I left my social circle, knowing what bars were fun, how to get places, the language, the comfort of walking to my g-ma's house, or calling a friend. I left EVERYTHING. All I had with me was me...and my curiosity to learn.
When we arrive back to our home, our old way of life hits us like a ton of bricks. We step out of the terminal...and the stimuli is 700 times stronger. We are attacked by all that we DO know...EVERYTHING. Music, language- (and not just the language, but knowing where people are from due to their accents),food, what restaurants we like, what shampoo we know is good, ...I can go on and on. We just step back into a world where we are AWARE of it all..and almost know too much to the point that unimportant things begin to matter again.
The point is, that life is beautiful and a little more peaceful when we travel...we walk through life a little lighter, see things happier and in a whole different way. We take in the good stimuli that we want to take in while we can easily ignore all the other realities, because we are either unaware of them or just uninterested. When we arrive back home, everything we knew and had control of for our entire lives comes back so quickly that it slaps us the head.
This is what make travel so enthralling. I don't know how to end this blog because I could go on and on with trying to peg what travel actually "is" or "does" to a person. If I could accomplish that...then I would out-do the "great" historians, teachers and writers of the past who STILL haven't fully defined travel. It's one of life's mysteries..like "love"!
I guess the way I would like to end this blog post is to give you my advice: If you have not traveled in your life, or you're too scared to do it, PLEASE force yourself. Don't think about it any more. Just do it. I promise it will be for the better. It changes your life in a way...that is incredible! For all my readers, and those who actually give a shit about my random blog posts...if there is something you are pondering right now, stop and decide "yes"! I hope this post is the answer you were looking for...the answer is YES!
:)
until next time...
besos!
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